Beverly Flaxington is a practice management consultant. She answers questions from advisors facing human resource issues. To submit yours, email us here.
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Dear readers,
A recent conversation with a highly successful advisor prompted me to write on the importance of understanding “behavioral style.” Behavioral style encompasses our preferences or tendencies to choose one approach over the other when it comes to different aspects of what we do each day. There are four styles: how we handle problems and challenges, how much energy we get from verbalizing and being around people, how we deal with steady pace and logical structure and what preference we have for data and quality control.
The advisor I was speaking with, to use an example, was trying to figure out how best to align his team of six people. He has a very strong COO and the two are closely aligned in their values and their view of the world. However, the COO is wired very differently. She has a preference to thinking things through and watching and waiting until she makes a final decision.
He just wants to decide and get on with it!
We were speaking because he is frustrated that no matter how many times he tells her the “right way” to approach things, she continues (in his view) to ignore his pleas and preferences.
Behavioral style fits us the same way our clothes and shoes fit us. We all have a size that is comfortable and when we are wearing clothes that fit, we are more confident, comfortable and calm. If we were forced to wear someone else’s clothing or shoes that are too small or too big, we could manage but we’d spend the day feeling very out of sorts. This is what it is like when someone asks us to behave in a way that is contrary to your natural style. I may know you want me to do something differently, but I sincerely, truly cannot figure out exactly what that means for me! And just as you could lose weight, or work out in order to fit into a different size of clothing, you can also spend time modifying your behavioral approach to make it fit.
But it takes a lot of effort, focus and energy to do so.
If you are running a team, understanding behavioral differences is key because it manifests in communication style. I teach this concept to sales and relationship people because it also comes into play when they are working to influence another person. If your styles are very dissimilar, I can’t “hear” what you are saying. I’m so focused on the approach you take (tone of voice, pace of speech, etc.) that the words might get lost. Difference in style is often at the root of why we decide we don’t like someone else or they rub us the wrong way.
Read the full article here by Beverly Flaxington, Advisor Perspectives
